Tuesday, July 12, 2011 @11:45 AM
depressed again.
today is the 1st time i'll be giving up my chance to select a unit from hdb. giving up, cos i don't wanna stay on the 2nd or 3rd floors that's next to the rubbish chutes.
n then there's the apprehension of facing this similiar dilemma in exactly 1 month's time for the parcvista bto. fked up system from mnd, hdb.. whatever. it's fked up.
or maybe it's some kind of sign from god. sometimes i really can't tell when i'm thinking sensibly and when i'm thinking too much. it makes me feel as if thinking too far ahead is wrong.. when it shouldn't. shall quote some wake-up calls from darren.. his takes on my concerns.
"its a huge responsibility, and many people do not realise that for issues like that. (on housing) they will greatly affect your spending habits. the prolonged pushing and initiative will wear you out over time, there is only that much you can do and after a while you will just wean out and slowly start to despair more and more" (damn spot on!)
"honestly this is up to you, you are 25, well, not too young, not too old, but more importantly u cannot make a decision in your relationships that will affect you long term, in the end also will end up with nothing. you are not thinking too much. we shouldn't conform to society, where this is thinking too much. this is sensible thinking, yes, this is not the norm, thus ppl always says its thinking too much. but however, the realities of society require you to think that much, failing so, please see yourself stuck in the rat race for another 40years and you would be 1 of those people queuing up outside singapore pools every mon wed thur and sat, hoping to get that big break. however what they dun realise is, although circumstances can force you into that state, taking charge and initiative will allow you to break out and do yourself some good."
this is exactly what i feel as well. but does he think that way? idk.
whats his plans for the future? idk.
his ambitions? idk.
what does he thinks about my religion? abt how important it is to me? idk.
why is he smoking? idk.
uncertainties are just killing me slowly right now.