dreamworld was alil crazy. the rides i mean... and i'm really starting to doubt my ability to do the stunts i wanna do. how to bungee jump and skydive man... see how things go ahh mm...

but life is short. i wanna do it like, just once in my life so i can look back and say 'yeah, been there, done that' :)

my fear of heights is real okay... to date, i feel i can quite proudly say that i've done quite a good job handling it too. hmm, thought just occured to me.. so cool to find mr chiang on facebook... maybe can see if he have the video of my secondary school days! the one where we went to malaysia and had to go through the canopy walk... then got the scene of me hugging the tree in terror after crossing the 'bridge'. ok la, it wasn't really that bad.. i usually laugh my fear away so i was laughing and smiling at the camera i think.

ah yes, yesterday i also went to my first halloween party at a club. my goodness, it was so packed... felt so squashed moving about, and there was so many people it was actually freaking hot even though the place is air-conditioned! and i was already in a tube ._.

i was alil worried that i'm underdressed and it turned out that not many people dressed up lor.. i think singapore more happening.. went there with qw, jason & colin and thankfully, with colin's friend in the queue, we skipped like almost 100 peeps in the line =x then over there i met marc, jo, ming yan, zeng xun & quite a few familiar faces.. brisbane too small! lols.

with so many people, in no time everyone was also lost in the crowd and i ended up with just qw majority of the time.. am abit lost as to what i was suppose to do.. so... i what also never do.. maybe apart from smiling at him. hahaha

yep, last night very 'happening'. sometimes i can't believe the things happening around and to me. i think my life is starting to get me nervous. spent the whole day today chatting about relationships with qw.. really came to not much of a conclusion about the topic but at certain times, even yesterday, i had to remind myself and stop myself from doing or saying anything silly.

its driving me alil nuts @_@ kel... all ur fault u know!

gahhh

funny quote..

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station.

moreton trip was pretty fun! haha, so many things i wanted to post but... i'm lazy. haha, things just happen so quickly u enjoy the moment and i think thats what's most important.

though i wish qw's digi cam didn't mal function and kel didn't lose his specs.. it sucks that this kind of suay thing had to happen to the people around me! :( sometimes i feel really amazed by them, how they can try not to let that affect them so much and just continue on with the trip. i know that if the same thing happened to me, i'd get pretty affected and down even if i try not to be. mmm.. a manly trait.. sigh, hope things get resolved..

next stop tmr... dreamworld! today is just a typical rest and relax day. lazy hot afternoon sun is just making me even more lazy. ugh.. o wells... lunch beckons!

assignment is due in less than 6 hours and i am here..... blogging.

and i'm hungry :(

got reminded to make an appointment and see a doctor from ash & qw cos my cough hasn't got any better and so i prolly need antibiotics...

can't eat chocs... can't eat chips...


*trys to practice self discipline & control*

you don't know how hard it is for me to stop myself from opening my pack of doritos chips right now (its mexicana flavour okay!) ... or ignore tim tams + the rum & raisin chocolate fudge i bought from toowoomba. arggh!

can't wait for the holidays. i want today to be over soon!! (got to school on friday~)

on a lighter note, mid-sem break starts from this saturday!!
means moreton trip is just two days away now! weeee~

and... i got dated! weeee~ hahaz.. just had to let out the inner excitement alil. =x

now if only i could just be as skinny as ash and be rid of my cough...

okok, back to assignments..

sigh, haven't got the slightest mood to study.

am coughing much and i just pray i don't spread the germs... crap the guys are infected!!! hahaha, the way qw boiled lemon is super funny, and can i just note.. honeycomb looks weird when 'dissolved' in hot water. lol..

the past few days have been rather 'relaxing' (cos i haven't touched my assignments at all) am suppose to have done some work but nothing got done... and for some strange reason, good sleep still eludes me.... :(

mini roadtrip to toowoomba on sat was fun with the guys. frankly speaking the flowers weren't that great, it was the company that made things better :)
... and i got to drive! haha, even tho i wasn't exactly the safest driver.... heh

and i finally finally, after months and months... i caught a movie! wall-e was really sweet. hadn't the faintest idea what the movie was about but it was good. yes i love feel-good movies :D

church message was really good too.. daniel crashed in and afterwards we had dinner along with aaron & kenneth. heh, the joke of my hubby is still circulating and ian was like saying "wah, how can u bring another man!" hahaha..

hmm.. i think being sick has made my head processing speed slow. both times on sat and sun i think i kinda crossed the road and didn't exactly pay attention to oncoming traffic.. and had to be pulled back. i think i'm a cat with more than 9 lives... hur hur

i don't wanna do assignment!!!!!!!!

*stones*

well, i still drifted in and out of sleep here and there... but thanks to the sleeping pill i'm feeling alil more rested than usual. still gotta drag myself to school, and just thought i'd check my mail before going to see if that china guy sent his part like he promised he would (for the 2nd time).

and the answer is no. *sigh*

but a timely message came from my subscription to some bible verse webby... gosh i forgot how i got it, but every couple of days it'll send out a short note and a lil question to test your bible knowledge (which, no doubt i'm not good at all). for the couple of weeks if has been going about love in 1 corinthians chapter 13.

last week it reminded me of my childhood poem:

love is patient
love is kind
love is where you'll always find
a spirit of peace and harmony
the heart of life
for you and me

then today it somehow struck a chord of comfort from god:
1 Corinthians 13:7
[Love] believes all things.
"Greetings Bible Enthusiast! Have you ever known the joy of someone believing in you,especially if the odds are against you? "I believe in you." - may be the sweetest, most loving words you could ever say to someone who is hurting and feeling like a failure, (especially if s/he really did mess up)."

perhaps i really did mess up and more than ever i feel like running away. but i also know that theres another part of me that doesn't want that to happen. i will not let myself be emo. yeah, gotta be stronger. *takes a deep breath*

okay, time for school.

i hate it when i know whats coming... i expected it, anticipated it, but when it hits me, it just still hurts as bad. i know its just oversensitive me.
yes, just ignore me because i don't want to be like this but somehow i can't stop myself. its really no one's fault but my own.

sometimes i don't understand why i can and i let myself fade into the background all the time. why i scream my lungs out, but no one hears me.

its strange how after the game i can comfort others but not myself. can't help but remember the things alex said about me as i walked back... sometimes i guess its just better being alone. that way nothing can hurt.

i miss my extended family & karin's hug.
thx kel for noticing..
touched that ian called and offered to come over even tho i'm not his 'lao po'

:) the day is over but it does feel better.

sigh, another long day awaits.

woah, my first mid term exam is coming in less than.. 9 hours.

am feeling the vibe of karma from suan-ing my friends for the past year. but thankfully, i don't feel to unprepared. its not perfect, but i'm cool.... i think.

can't wait for it to be over.. sigh, then there's more project work to do.
lemme just do a brief re-organization..

edit proposal & start on presentation for choc fest
edit & do financial budgeting for grant application
search for more leisure articles for essay & presentation
revise lecture 7 & 8 of financial management + tut

i think i'm really getting good at summarizing things.. just 4 points but i know it'll just take ages to complete. bugger.

ah.. and just recently i had another family gathering to celebrate my uncle's 70th birthday. its so cool and heartwarming to see them, and i never fail to be amazed at how i actually have like.. mix-blood relatives that don't look like asians at all. damn, i wish i brought my camera.. or if only stephy was online.. how can a 17 yr old not be on msn constantly? ozzie culture? o.O

can't wait for mid sem break to arrive.. lots of work to be done but generally i just can't wait to play. :D oh yes, plus my plan to lose weight.. uhh.. will not be snacking, at least till next week. not purely for a vain reason, i'm stopping myself cos i can feel myself falling sick from it too.

so yeah, kill 2 birds with 1 stone (i just hope it works!)

okay, back to financial management...

i'm such a procrastinator la.. just the previous post i said i'll cut down on snacks.. next moment today in the city i bought 1 pack of chocs and another pack of sweets... ugh.. it was with rather great reluctance that i returned a big bar of chocs back to the shelf.. it was so tempting okay! got offer mah....

sigh, can't stop the aunty in me from coming out.

anyway thats not the end of my shopping spree... armed with a shopping list (actually i only wanted to buy 2 itmes) i went in to city beach to look for a bikini.

TO MY HORROR, i looked really fat in the changing room. i'm like... HOLY!!! i really really really need to lose weight man... but then, i still bought the chocs and sweets...

and to my delight, i had mee siam for dinner thanks to the guys!

... oh wells.



dieting will start tomorrow~ :D
i really wanna try going to the gym... (prays for staff card to appear)

am super tired. sianzed with the thought of group meeting from morning to noon, followed by 2 hr lecture, 1 hr tutorial, 1 hr break & 4 hrs of netball work before finally ending my day at 10pm+? ugh... ok shall not think about it..

*tries to remember the bliss of buying my bikini again* it... is the most expensive bikini i ever bought. (won't reveal how much) must definitely maximise usage man! well... its branded too! (ok, i'm self consoling myself now) i had to keep reminding myself of $$ as i was working today. man... i need lots of encouragement lately!

le sigh.

i am tired. mentally and physically.. like i can just close my eyelids and fall off the chair kind of tiredness. i am really starting to stress out with the assignments coming due in a month's time. a month seem like a long while away, yet when u look at it in a calender... it's just a flip of a page away? i can't estimate time properly anymore o_O.

the netball game has been well played.. like, wow.. what a difference. though we lost, i hope the next few games will go on as well as it went today. going for training last saturday was definitely worth it. am just gonna have to lug all my stuff to court this coming sat to change after training and rush to uncle lawrence's birthday party. whether or not i'll join the girls for an after party clubbing night is another matter though. i think i'm getting old.

and maybe i should just cut back on eating.. have no idea why i keep binging on food. yes it makes me feel good for abit.. but i need to find another way to convince myself why i should not eat so much =s like, there's only 2 reason why i eat so much.. either i'm just depressed, or i'm happy. recently with all the highs and lows... i just keep eating non-stop ~_~

thank god there's still some excercising opportunities.. sigh.. which reminds me, i've got to go to work on weds and thurs.. sian! but i need the money... yes, thank god again that my mom has agreed to send me 3k! *in bliss* now i can go to gold coast, surfer's paradise, moreton island, cairns and new zealand! oh yeah~ things have really fallen nicely into place even with the travel plans. thank god, thank god! all that's left is some finalizing and bookings here and there.. can't wait man... =D

yea.. this is a happy post.. i pray the days to come will be constructive and fruitful as well.. got lots of work to do... and an exam to prepare for! stress... and i must add.. playing facebook with my sister can get quite distracting! i spend alot of time, and no work gets done! haha.. love the parking wars application, its so funny...

ok bed bed bed..

i love the rainy day... the feeling that makes u wanna just snuggle in bed and roll around all day... how i wish it's the hols!

but i do face reality... and assignments are really starting to kick in. i've got like 4 things due all in the same week. now is really a test on my time management skills! (which is horrid)

nothing much to update really.. i still very much dread work.. though time passes by at fine pace, i just don't feel too good inside sometimes. i just keep telling myself "its to earn alil and to lose alil weight, (repeat 20 times)" haha..

and now that winter is pretty much gone, i think i'm losing abit more weight (yes i know it may just all be psychological) but i have to be abit mental to motivate myself! was so shocked when i discovered one day that i couldn't fit into one of my jeans. its no funny matter! 0_0

so yes, my 3 packet of chips have been left at my room's lil corner for over a month now... what a test of my perserverance... am definitely reaching my limit....

and i got to confess... i think i'm getting alil sick of netball... to the point where i'm at the verge of quitting work and quitting the netball team. perhaps i'm just being too sensitive, but sometimes i really just can't help it. i wish people were more truthful to me. i wish people would treat me more like a friend and not someone that can be so easily replaced. i need some encouragement... it just dawns on me how friendship can also be a one-sided relationship, and how i suck at it.

i should stop thinking.

kyasarin
a simple girl with a complex mind. someone that worries too much about all things valid and invalid. foodie, japie, cutie & alcoholic. nuff said.
my birthday falls on 28th of june! :)


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