Friday, January 20, 2006 @11:34 PM
a sad melody
can't believe that you'll be gone. the thought brings tears that never fails to return. time has ran out.
like a prisoner waiting for her execution, theres nothing left to do as i watch the clock tick by. i removed the battery in my alarm clock. the battery died, but i don't want to find a replacement. time doesn't stop though.
i hum a sad tune. a tune i barely remember, maybe it was just a fragment of my imagination all along. i wish life was just a really bad dream.
the innocent can never last. what happens when you jerk a person in denial into reality? you get insanity. depression. a mask. and denial again.
so many voices in my head. so much to cry but nothing to shout for. i'm best left alone.
tomorrow is another day. a day of celebration and a day of death.
but you'll always be mine. always...
Thursday, January 19, 2006 @10:12 PM
names
i'm thankful for the few who knows, been nice, and tried to comfort me. it somehow just show more clearly the helplessness i feel.
i'm still struggling inside, where my head tells me one thing and my heart says another. but just don't look back. the days will pass..
whats a nice name..?
Sunday, January 15, 2006 @11:01 PM
bittersweet
i'm crying inside. just crying and crying and crying. then when i'm all alone, i cry again trying to forget but it huants me. hurts me.
in this world you got to be strong. join the people who cried of the same fate. the torment inside, only those would understand. no point plaguing those who are sweet and nice. life will present itself in its own way at its own time to them. i'm just receiving a gift early.
the tears don't stop flowing. i can't concentrate on anything. i only seek one source for comfort. to be lost in his arms and in my own world.
in denial. having a headache. i miss every second being without him. but everyone dies alone.
i don't want to talk about it.
Saturday, January 14, 2006 @6:58 PM
babies
ever wondered what its like to be pregnant?
i can't help thinking of my sister. its scary.
you can't imagine.
i can't imagine.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006 @11:33 PM
crying within
it happened again. the second time i trusted someone and the person took away all i had. why must you all do this???
very disappointed.
sad beyond comprehension.
worse. no one can comfort me.
things learnt? gamers can never be trusted. not in ro, not in maple. my impression of wow is still good.. but i'm back in my nutshell.
its too expensive a game to support anyway.
i'll just stick to my books. maybe slowly save up for a ps2, then i can play to my hearts content with no worries of getting conned ever again.
argh. need to get a grip on my anger.
finally handed in my essay. at the expense of skipping another calculus lecture. now theres 3 big question marks on my head..
should try the approach of mr. tan.. maxima, minimas, logs, ln, e, and integration are all my friends...
yuck.
work tomorrow. i need sleep.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006 @3:53 PM
cry with me
its a public holiday.
happy hari raya to you too. are you enjoying the break?
i'm not.
i didn't know the essay is 40%.
2000 words. and i haven't even started? and.. its due tomorrow?
40%!!!!!!??!?!
i'm so dead.
Monday, January 09, 2006 @4:52 PM
pitter patter (corny title, i know)
the rain is never-ending. is it monsoon season? sorry to say my geography fails me. as it always does. hmm.. but still must thank ms yew for those drillings. f9 to b4 is something i wouldn't boast about, but hey, its still an achievement. miss secondary school days. will i soon miss poly too?
wonder how's verna. kavi. saw angelina some time ago, jolyn couple months ago. they still look the same, young and all.. but something inside is different. internal growth? haha, sounds like some science tumour.
the rain comes and go as i sit in the library, half frozen to death, half still wishing i brought my jacket. now i know what i should wear tomorrow.. but, there's no school tomorrow!! argh, wednesday then. my big jacket i bought from japan can finally be taken out to use! aside from the fact that i'll look pretty oversized.. i still like it.
reality check. still got lots of work to do. 1)i haven't done calculus tutorial. 2)APEL values reflection, 3)compiled my portfolio or 4)did cpm peer evaluation online. 5)neither my sociology quiz on gender? 6)i haven't even typed a single word for my 2000 word essay as well. 7)haven't planned for my sociology presentation, and 8)still half-way through finishing the literature review with regards to location for my final year project. hmm.. makes you feel organized once you list everything that need to be done eh?
suddenly miss listening to the radio. the morning jam on 98fm. miss playing maple. wonder if kelly is playing wow.. in summary? moodless. i'm just waiting for time to fly by. hmm.. must find motivational food~ ok, got my inspiration back.
@12:11 AM
choices
i guess it was high time i switched the song.. then i was stuck between choosing a song between t.a.t.u or green day.
one reminded me of lesbians (yes, my dark side of being intrigued and the past of lost identiy crisis), the other fills me with memories of seeing kai, fagan and marc jamming.
tada~
wake me up when september ends by
green daySummer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
ironic to also note its january. why name the song so specifically? make listening to it at this point of time somewhat wrong as well. like i should have waited to september or something..
sigh. i haven't finished my work. yes i feel screwed. i feel that i've let my groupmates down. wish i could do more shopping. haven't had enough of retail tharapy.. must be the rain! the cold is really getting to me.. not to mention making alex sick.
sigh. sometimes life offers many choices. and many times people are just too dumb or too stubborn to take any. i think i might fall into those category? whatever it is, i think living with no regrets is just by accepting fate. whats done is done, whats happened is over and whats said cannot be reversed. just got to stick with it. ya?
ok, back to burning midnight oil..
Monday, January 02, 2006 @5:21 PM
public holiday
here i am 'nuaing' at home in front of my com with no mood to study or do work.
againbahz. i've decided while talking to my mom just now. after graduation, i'll try to apply for smu. second choice would be ntu (crazy i know but i have the mentality that its actualy harder to get into smu?) anyway, third choice would go to appling to overseas universities in where else but australia? then last but not least, if i'm left with no other choice, i'll prolly try fot a part time degree in sim while working in sentosa.
i might not know how or where the interest came from, but i'm somehow intrigued by sociology. hope i do well.. but nevertheless.. will just work hard. god help me.