Wednesday, December 29, 2010 @10:59 PM
an engagement
quite a late post, i know. but i've been busy! but in any case here is is... the true accounts of what happened last christmas.. :)
morning, it was sleep and sleep to our hearts content before setting out to MOF for brunch. then we headed to marina square because he wanted to check out a sale. feeling contented with his prize, we then headed to max brenners for choc waffle. was so afraid i wiouldn't get to eat it because there was a drizzle, but thankfully that cleared up and we went!
i must say they've really gotten better than the last time i had it... the standards are really getting close to the last one i had in melbourne. now i don't have to fly there for good choc waffles!! :D
so yea, next we headed to one fullerton to 'walk walk'. i was pretty suspicious, but i went ahead. u can't imagine the number of tourists crowding around the merlion..! seriously, i think we were the only singaporeans around that area then. walking ahead (there's nothing much to see at one fullerton on a public holiday afternoon) we headed to boat quay.
on the way i thought i spotted daryl and ah hong - jason's 2 besties. but he dismissed it. i was then planted right in the middle of the bridge where he excused himself to the toilet. i think my suspicion level was really to the max! but i really didn't know how things would enfold... so i wait. and in the meantime spotting the guy that i thought look like daryl, taking photos
while waiting, i also noticed a guy taking a video cam fliming around. thats normal.. but after a few mins, you start wondering.. is there really so much to flim around here?? but before i could dwell further in my thoughts, some random guy came up to me and gave me a rose. he said 'someone asked me to pass this to u'. it was a pleasant surprise! but where's jason?
mystified, i looked around and caught the guy fliming me... but i really don't know him!? so i was getting alittle annoyed, yet, still happy with recieving the rose... yeah conflicting moods can co-exist in me haa...
then a couple came up to me and wished me 'merry christmas'. 3 roses now! and this time, daryl steps out to take a pic of me. haa... i don't remember if i was asking where's jason or whats going on, but daryl also shrugged and said he don't know, then left.. leaving me back on the bridge by myself... and the 3 rose.
then i finally spotted where the random people were selected.. ah hong was convincing 2 girls! hur hur... they came up to me and said 'happy anniversary' and followed by a group of ang mohs.. who really couldn't hide the rose from me, but u can see that they tried. they said 'congrats!' and one guy said 'u're so beautiful! let me give u a kiss' and he was already drawing close to me. thankfully, he was going to my cheeks, u know like the french kind where u kiss both sides but to the air? *phew* what a diverse group of random people leh.. must give ah hong some credit at choosing people.
the final and cutest was this little girl that came one hand with daddy, and another holding the rose. super sweet can... but then my bag fell and maybe that scared her abit and her dad had to take over to hand it to me instead. now that i had 9... the lead guy finally comes out with a huge bouquet! and after that, everything just happened so quick!
the knee, the ring and the words.. how could i say no? although i must admit i was very tempted to ask 'are u sure? are u sure?' there was a crowd that gathered when he came with the flowers and dropped on 1 knee.. some of them, were the people the passed me a rose too. so when i said yes, everyone was clapping.. i think partially led by ah hong. i think he made the most noise.. and started saying 'kiss kiss kiss!' abit paiseh... but it was really still a happy happy moment! :D
afterwards i was introduced to bernard, the guy who was video-ing the whole thing.. and i felt bad giving him my frowns when i thought he was fliming me by accident alittle too much. we had dinner at pasta fresca (unfortuantely, only i enjoyed the soup) and then we headed to get everyone drunk. the guys were drinking till 4 or 5am.. and the bill was really quite high! but well.. it's not like we do this often. :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010 @12:16 AM
we all forget
it's funny how answers come to you in the strangest forms. how i remember the things i've known all along but have forgotton.. cos my mind have just been shrouded by other clouds of thought.
actually, seriously... i still feel very uncertain.
but life never was a path of certainty.
yes, i'm petrified of the thought of how things can possibly change. u can't imgine how unlimited my imagination extends! haha..
but all i can do, is remember that god will make a way. keep praying, & keep having faith in him.
i've got to tell myself to remember that life is full of simple things that can make me happy. like the joy of turning capsules to get my ham ham. the contentment of eating crab, sushi, chocs & ice cream whenever. the assurance & security that i can always depend & trust u in times of need.. and take comfort from your hugs to remember that i'm loved.
what makes u happy? how do u know that i'm the one? will u still be happy with me... 20 yrs down the road? are u... intimidated by my expectations?
perhaps i'm doing alittle too much self reflection.
*heaves a deep sigh*
sleep sleep.
Thursday, December 09, 2010 @10:51 PM
feeling lame
i can't stop the mr brown song playing in my head.. he had this funny remix version about the haze but i tweeked this thanks to their inspiration:
i got a fweeling, that i'm gonna get an ulcer
that i'm gonna get an ulcer
that i'm gonna get an ow ulcer~ oh fweeling!
:( i don't know if it's cos i just visited the dentist recently & my teeth are shifting again, hence the increased abrasion. can't wait to be done, just a few more months to go!! yess~
Monday, December 06, 2010 @9:09 PM
thoughts
things aren't really so bad. maybe it just seems alil more horrid cos i usually blog about things i'm unhappy with here. like, 90% of the time.
at the moment, i'm feeling rather apprehensive. if it wasn't cos kel reminded me earlier, i really kinda forgot that he might be proposing soon. somewhere inside me thinks that it won't happen actually.. hence i've been putting that thought aside as well. but what if it does?
i haven't figured out my answer. well, not entirely.
i do love him. and we all have shortfalls, some more undesirable then others.. but in marriage, perhaps its looking beyond love and acceptance. it's about families coming together, more household chores, higher financial liability, greater expectations, accepting a religion, putting up with more of each other. am i ready for that? i don't know.
is he ready for that? i don't know.
hence if u ask me about how i feel about all this, i really don't know. it really wouldn't be fair of me to say 'i think i know he will support me' or 'i'm sure we'll walk through all these together' because it just seems like assumptions... put it this way, what if he's not prepared or he ain't even ready for all this crap?
i know i'm a huge ball of emo-tism. i can get along fine with people. relationships are fun & they'll work for awhile... until i go haywire. so far, jason is one of the most tolerant & able to handle my crankiness. & i haven't even started on my parents!
so we're good together. understanding that even if a guy doesn't convert, or even if he does... a guy can still betray u... so i'm choosing to believe that deep down, he's as good as he seems to be. (that said, i hope he sees my flaws & still thinks my good somehow outweighs everthing as well)
and i think our biggest issue, is some financial challenge... *sigh* i need some kind of breakthrough.