Tuesday, August 26, 2008 @4:51 PM
moody
sometimes when i'm by myself, i'll just go into periods of highs and lows... does everyone go through that or is it just me? i was supposedly fine but now i'm just confused with everything around me. what is my stand exactly? why is it that when i think i'm truthful to myself, another part of me taunts me otherwise.
is alex still in my life? should i let him be? what do i want exactly? argh. it can all just be so easy to say and hard to do...
somehow i feel really lucky to have qw & kel around. we'd been hanging around so much i hope i'm not a nuisance too. they have become my refuge in some time of loneliness.. i definitely feel like the dependent one.. tho i'm doing most of the bullying... haha! just yesterday i dyed qw's hair. got pattern one ok.. is quite cool ok... hahaha, i don't know if i'm comforting myself or if i should go comfort him.. hahaha! kel backed out... but well.. he got more at stake if i ruin his hair ba.. i wouldn't want his gf coming after me man.. ahha~ they're both such great guys, qw is even potential bf material for me.. damn.. all kel's fault for getting this idea in my head. but i think i jinx myself for telling ash about it.. and by posting it here! hahaha.. maybe i should really just start learning how to chase guys.. mm...
i really hope that after we all return to sg, we'll still keep in touch. =D
time is sorta flying.. august is ending.. part of me don't wanna return so early cos being here is now like a safe haven. i feel rather helpless with my life, wishing someone would come rescue me. sigh..
Thursday, August 21, 2008 @7:01 PM
life & alco
gotta admit i've lost my drive to blog..
i feel like i'm living my life by day and just trying to enjoy as much of it as i can. thanks to karen, the house is spiced up. thanks to kel & qw, i'm studying much more... well, more than i've ever done since i entered uni i think. and i'm starting to feel pressured that my results won't match the effort i put in. it never does.
o wells.. try my best eh?
work has been crappy as well.. lets just say i can't wait to quit, but i'm too lazy to go through the whole process of getting out of the job.
days ahead are just gonna get busier. going to check out another nightclub tomorrow with the guys.. hmm, just realised i'm like.. the organizer? haha, everyone's spontaneous :3 i hope we have fun *fingers crossed*
got volunteer induction for river festival on sat & belle's birthday party at night. and its so cool cos everyone's got pagent identities i'm ms lizzie louisiana. it's gonna be a night of murder & mystery~
sunday is surprise birthday lunch for karen at hanaichi~ yum yum..
shucks there goes my weekend. aside from school work and netball, there might be more volunteer work.. ahhh... in many times, i'm just glad to be in the company of the guys and not be left alone to play games. am esp really appreciative of kel n qw sometimes... lately it just doesn't feel good to play alone. the torn feeling of wanting not to be alone.. but then again wishing to be left alone.. haha, i know i'm not making much sense.
anywayz.. gdnitez!
may tomorrow be a better day :)
Monday, August 04, 2008 @11:20 AM
something funny
i decided to change my display pic on msn and suddenly one morning i got a msg that asked if i'm still suicidal. i mean, i felt like crap, but did i mention to someone i was suicidal? i can't remember..
i asked why i mentioned about suicide and that person went on to remind me i broke up with my gf. gf? i thought it was a spelling error. but later on the convo became obvious.... that person thought i was a guy. after knowing that i'm a christian, he even went on to say girls are not important, God is. but i retort its 2 separate matter..
then he said if u're still masturbating and watching porn, u should stop. LOL, i almost wanted to fall off my chair. of course, soon after, i cleared things up with him that i'm actually a girl. haha, its really funny.. the brotherhood feeling is so cool.
drank alot last sat night. really alot, thx to qing wei, kok xin and jason! we finished 1 full bottle of v.s.o.p cognac, my midori and chew's baileys. there was beer too, but i don't drink beer. we were all really high i think.. tho i hope we'll have a drinking session again, i think i've had enough alco for the whole month. life is peaceful... :)