Thursday, February 22, 2007 @8:18 PM
am stressed
so since my head is blocked, i thought i might as well blog.. perhaps it might clear my head abit and i haven't updated in ages anyway.
ok, Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! Though kinda late, but luckily for me, chinese new year is spread over 15 days. :)
as they always say, better late then never.
so yes, back to some old updates i should have posted weeks ago..
my Valentine's Day!
i must add, was a very lovely one. ok, i was very pissed over family matters in the morning on the fateful day, and i learned later that alex too wasn't very pleased in the morning..
but we concluded that perhaps the unhappy encounters we had in the day made the night so much better. you know how after a bad day you suddenly appreciate the good days? yah, same theory.
then again, when its a surpriase programme of over $300, i really don't think it can be that bad what right? am really touched by alex's planning.. though also heartpained at the thought of the amount spent, i can't deny that i didn't like the feeling of being pampered... gosh, who doesn't!?
first was going for a couple massage at Bonafides.
it was just back massage that lasted barely 30mins. aside from also being surprised that they just dumped me n alex in a room and expected us to strip in front of each other without even a towl. the virgin experience was great!
then came dinner at the Jewel Box.
where we had a really good scenic seat to see Sentosa. i thank god it wasn't dinner AT Sentosa. and we were lucky to had the glass cabin for our trip to mt. faber (sharing with another couple), and on our cable car trip back to harbourfront, we had a cabin all to ourselves! this, amongst the super long queue awaiting behind us, is an act of service i greatly appreciate from mt. faber group staffs. if i wasn't so lazy i would've written a letter.. mm..
not to forget a surprise bouquet of Pink Roses at the Altivo Bar after dinner!
yes, just when i thought i really won't be recieving any flowers, it came delivered~ though i know its expensive (which i found out later that it wasn't) and i told him not to get, that its ok, but deep inside i wanted it..... so anyway, yes again i was filled with happiness and glee for that moment..
and it was off to watch a movie at GV Vivo.. GOLD CLASS!
omg.. the seat is fab, with buttons to push it to be like a semi-bed angle, button to call for service.. yes i thought i was in some first class airline that have a big screen and i'm perhaps dreaming. there was a blanket and champagne.. damn cool
man, its cool to be rich la.. and i heard from alex that he wan't the 'live band' at the Altivo Bar to play my fav song by Craig David but it wasn't sung.. so, pity.. I would really rate the experience a 99/100. one point off cos we were kinda rushing everywhere, and i guess he couldn't really enjoy the moment too because of that. but everything is really memorable. :)
now and then, me and alex still do squabble. sigh, i am really unsure of the future i have with him. what with our character differences, hobbies and interests.. not to mention flying off to aussie.
amelia just left for melbourne not too long ago too. seems like quite a number of people are flying down under, n i want to go too! though i'm still unprepared now, i really want to go.. i'll just take a step at a time with alex.. and i guess, just pray for the best? i dunno..
on a happier note, though i haven't been feeling too well lately, ang baos harvest have been great! too bad they're all in my mom's hands now.. courtesy of the monthy cash money i give her.. T-T
i'm hoping to get more ang paos this weekend. and perhaps, win some more $$ from blackjack or majong~ had my first full game at alex's boss house last monday and i'm kinda craving for more.. hahaha.. so tired now.. guess i'll head home.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007 @1:47 PM
Angry!!!
fucking pissed. what the hell is wrong with my mom?
2 days ago she spoke to me about how there's just some people who just give you hell and are crazy for no reason.
i could only look at her and wonder in amazement. has she attained enlightenment? has she realised how much abuse she has been giving me?
apparently not.
she totally went crazy on me again just moments ago on the phone. its my dad's birthday today. she wants to go for dinner at cdans, at bukit gombak. of course i'm fine with it. here's the thing. yesterday she wanted to go for the dinner and i said ok. then last minute cancel say "ayah too late, everyone complaining hungry, we go another time" then just now she ask me want to go tonight, then, knowing my brother-in-law's schedule, i ask so he's not going? then she went like "do you think it's ok if he don't go? i don't know la they can go you cannot make it, then they cannot you can, then next week over already"
so i said "i anything, want to go go lor" then she started sighing and said
"if you think alex is important then you go meet him la"
and she hung up.
i'm like WTF??? since when did alex get in the picture? how in the world did he get in the picture? from beginning it was all about dinner, celebrating for my dad's b'day.. there's totally no link! fuck it. i hate it when people hang up on me. you got a problem then spit it out. if you can't make up your mind and keep changing your mind then just shut your trap! i'm not that free to entertain your nonsense and trashy moods.
Lord, tell me how to love her?? ARGHz
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 @1:01 PM
a dedication to zeroro/dororo
Zeroro was a son of a wealthy Keron family. All of its members wear surgical masks. He was close friends with young Keroro and young Giroro, but was repeatedly abused (such as being left in a hole with a three headed monster, being blasted, used as a foot step, and used as a flotation device, being used as a shield, etc.). Despite this, Zeroro deeply valued his relationship with Keroro and Giroro, following even the most insane orders if told doing otherwise would break their relationship. When playing, Zeroro's beloved music box that he had since he was an infant was accidentally broken by Keroro, an action which Zeroro never forgave. During the fight with Cool Big Brother Viper, Keroro revealed he also lost Zeroro's beloved pet turtle, he ate a strawberry that was for a cake for Zeroro, he wrote the names of murderers in a mystery novel Zeroro read, using his prized stamps to label postcards, and eating the bananas Zeroro was going to eat on a hiking trip. Later, he joined the Keron Army. Due to his abuse as a tadpole, he developed supernatural powers, becoming the army's top assassin and someone who even Giroro feared. At this point, he wears a gas mask instead of a surgical mask and uses a length of wire as a weapon.
After crash landing on Pekopon/Pokopen, Zeroro was rescued by the kunoichi Koyuki. Wishing to follow the way of the ninja, Zeroro changed his name to Dororo, after the forest where he was rescued. Now, he wears a ninja mask and a sword with sheath on his back. He spends most his time training, reading, or spying on the actions of Keroro Platoon and others. Dororo is often forgotten by the rest of Keroro Platoon, causing his trauma switch to turn on, making him sit in a corner and cry. Dororo will also not participate in plans that are potentially harmful to people's feelings, well being, the Earth, etc.
*source from wikipedia
am a convert of sgt. frog.. though ken did tell me last time about them, i haven't really got interested until a couple days ago when watching a variety show where there were these guys sorta training on the photogenic memory, and where photos of tamama, kororo and giroro was shown. i ran a search on wikipedia today when i remembered the dororo figurine luo dan my past intern gave me as a leaving present. i kinda wondered why she gave me that, and now i kind of understand...
feel kinda sorry and touched by his background.. will try to start watching the anime, crossing my fingers that i won't harbour resentful feelings to kururu... =/
oh ya, am suddenly quite flooded with enquiries. from only 2 yesterday... today got 8 ah! and i wonder how many will reply lor... typical for people to be like "eh this is very urgent! i want it now, now!! and then when u get back to them and need a confirmation, they take forever.
(-_-)
i've also read another 20+ pages of the book i borrowed.. i remember telling myself i need to share it with alex, for him to read so that perhaps he could learn some points not only for his well being, but also perhaps... spiritually?
the book talks about how much though sometimes opposite attract, there have to be some similiarities to keep the couples doing activities together and spending time with each other, communicating with each other. its like the essential basics that always somehow or rather fail and slowly cause destruction and rupture in most marriages. scary but true ain't it?
i never fail to wonder how i'll ever attain spiritual fulfillment in the long road with alex. i've always worry about the difficulties i have with communicating with alex. i have serious doubts whether we can sustain in the long run... but hey, we've been together for 1 and a half years. he's eager and asking for more time.. i guess its kinda unfair to judge him and reject him as it is now, though i have no idea what the future might hold for us.
according to the book, you shouldn't date someone who still harbours feelings of the past. which is me. people who are needy.. which i feel i'm quite, though i only feel that way at certain times. with my moody swings and character, i hate people who are indecisive, stupid and weak. my limited patience is not to be tested, but i'm still generally a nice person ok. oh yea, and another thing is that i'm a person who judge by the "thing" one have. like whether u got a car, house, etc.. so its dangerous.. cos it might not totally be love/passion that make up my 'feelings totally, and frankly speaking, i self admit about it... so what else can i do? this have been taught and drilled into me since i was young by my mom. its a form of security. so seriously, i hope alex won't take offence.
haiz.. i need some optimism!! oh yea, on a lighter note, there was a rather inpromtu birthday celebration for darrel, sentosa's very own ceo. (i say inpromtu cos technically speaking i wasn't invited, but was just somehow rounded into the board room with yc by daniel) so lunch was very nicely covered. ate lots of plain sushi (the kind that only have a slice of cucumber/pickle/radish inside) with alicia and yc, horrifying them at the amount of wasabi i eat.. hahaaha!
die man, i hope they have jap food down under. i'll die without my minimum monthly dose of jap food... *mouth opens wide* ahhhhhh~ ...
Monday, February 05, 2007 @5:16 PM
new layout!
don't u think its more refreshing? *smiles to self*
would like to thank god for blessing me with life.
a home.
a family.
close friends.
church.
health.
a comfy bed.
clothes.
food.
school education.
enough money.
a family car.
a workplace.
computers & internet.
television & variety shows.
thank u lord.
i'm sorry for complaining so much. sorry for all the anger and pain i held to and wouldn't let go, despite knowing that these are the trials you put me through to make me stronger.
i shall learn to see things from a different perspective, and learn to control my temper. learn to communicate more, respect the people i love, and be more understanding. learn to save money, and have the knowledge and wisdom to know when and who is worth my money and time.
i'll be a saint if i can accomplish em all... not that i'm guilty of lacking all these basic traits, but at some point or another i guess i'm guilty of one thing and perhaps i forgot to value another. like how i valued courtesy so much before, and how it has ebbed away.. so this i sincerely pray...
amen
@9:54 AM
its monday!!!!!!!!!
mind u, i'm saying it with dread.
its monday!!!!!!!!!!
4 days more to the weekends.... and then i'll have 3 days straight of ANNUAL LEAVE. God's Blessings. Amen Amen Amen.
Even though i need to spend the first day going out with alex to various attractions with the ASA card. and then day 2 is with my parents. and then day 3 is valentine's day........
whre's my day of REST!? 0.o what de... luckily, 2 days after that is the weekends, then it's chinese new year holidays!! cross my fingers.. hope i don't have to go to too many places..
i have no idea why i dread going out so much. it recently hit me (actually just yesterday) that i have to leave the house every single day. gone were the days of holidays where i can stay home all day and hide under my sheets or stare in front of the computer screen while playing my favourite game, or just pigging like a couch potato watching tv drama serials n variety shows. *crys* sucks...
anyway i can't change this, so i'm just venting and sulking.. oh yea, have just borrowed my first book from the mini library in church yesterday too.. titled "When you're serious about love". read like 27 pages yesterday and i'm a little freaked out. the way they describe marriages... so RELATABLE (don't know if this word exist but anyway) it's scary! Must finish the whole book man.. analyse to see if my dating partner is marrige material.. how to make sure u date the right person.... then i'll share whatever i learn here~ kinda like to make sure i remember em also.. marriage is lifetime decision rite.. don't want any conflict-filled marriage, sumbmissive marriage or ... shucks forget already.. bleah...
kk, better get back to work..
Friday, February 02, 2007 @6:12 PM
dream dream dream
its kinda scary.. yesterday alex confided that he had a nightmare, one of me leaving him for another guy. today morning i dreamt i met chris. it's not that i got together with him, but i clearly remember seeing him, and we just hugged so tightly. the joy of seeing him. and i kept thinking "am i dreaming?". lol, in my dream i kept checking my handphone and i saw his name. when i woke up i checked again and it wasn't there. yeah.. i woke up with an ache. but there was also another scenario inside with chris that made me uncomfortable. i don't know why, but he stole comics.. not exactly intentionally but still.. so anyway, these are just dreams. right?
haiz.. today is the last day for sam, eugene and my dept's intern zi ling. one shot so many people go liao!! argh.. sigh.. all these emotions sure make me hungry. don't wanna ponder further already. tomorrow is saturday!!
amen amen.