Wednesday, May 20, 2009 @7:30 PM
metal or ceremic?
and i have finally embarked on the journey to getting braces. theres no turning back now... sometimes i still can't believe it. and then there's the constant pain to remind me.
somehow i had thought extraction was hard. enduring the seperators is a totally different matter altogether. i was shaking, bleeding and yowling when the dentist was putting the seperators between my teeth. and now, thanks to them too, i've eaten more panadols consecutively in 2 days then i've ever had in my life. i'm not really exaggerating..
in the past i'd be rather mindful of the amount of panadols i gulf down but now, i'm like counting down to the next hour i get to take them again. how should i put it? its not the kind of pain that results from a cut or bruise. it just somehow feels so bad that it gives me such awful headaches.. and then there's the codine that i think is making me more constipated then i already am. AND not to forget the conflict of needing to stay awake when the meds just make me sleepy...
yes, in summary, its really torturous. on a flip side, i actually welcome my new diet tho. although its really inconvenient to have to be on a lookout for food that are easy to swollow, the food i've been eating (basically just porridge, egg and tofu) everyday weren't all that bad. also i'm not too sure what is causing my lack of appetite but thanks to that, i only eat 1 or 2 meals a day so at least i don't get sick of all the porridge, tofu and egg.
jeremy has been really encouraging everytime i sulked around him. so i really REALLY hope everything will just go on smoothly and be worth it in the end. then theres the current joke going around the small hut on how braces might affect my relationship. or should i say the joke on how jo thinks it will affect my relationship. while i defended indignantly, it becomes funny as we all try to imgaine how aggressive jo might be in kissing her husband :x
hope i can eat durian and proper food by this saturday.. and i have till next monday for 2 more tooth extraction and the decision to make..... should i put metal or ceremic braces?? @_@
Monday, May 18, 2009 @3:05 AM
the start of everything
i have not stayed past 3am in a really long while... and yes, i'm really really tired.
its mental torture. not even playing bejewel twist for the past hour or so seems to help. my brain feels dead (thanks to bejewel) but it doesn't stop those mental images of pain, blood and agony thats waiting for me.. argh.. perhaps ignorance is really bliss and i really shouldn't have watched so much youtube videos.
some of them were really great tho, you see the transformation and like, omg... its definitely worth it for him/her. what went by in those few minutes actually took 2yrs. 2 freaking years!! thank god for them that it was worth it. and then there were the other videos of ops that had way too much details. theres like blood and its like you can just feel the pain even tho you're in the comfort of your bedroom chair.
i still can't imagine myself with braces. should i go with metal or ceremic? should i take some painkillers before i go for my extraction? i know i should eat something before i go but i don't have any appetite now and i doubt i'll have any later. but i'm worried that i might faint again. i hope the dentist is good. maybe i really should have just went to my own dentist for the extraction. at least i know he's good. but then again i know its all too late to talk about this now. i'm just 7 hours away from my appointment. maybe if i'm lucky, i could still catch 5hrs of sleep.
yes yes.. i'm just rambling nonsense. sigh, i wish the malaysia trip was last saturday and not this coming saturday. now i also have to worry about eating properly when i get there. suddenly i feel so unprepared. suddenly things seem to be happening so fast. or maybe i'm just getting alil too paranoid. like, its just extraction and maybe i'll have seperators placed in. i haven't exactly, or i'm not literally getting the braces on later...
arghhhhh...... why do you have to be by some stupid swamp when i need you? i think i'm going all emo from the lack of sleep. i hate dentist!!!!! fk fk fk fk fk!!!
i'll be fine, i know.
i know.
or i think i know...
i'm just really not looking forward to it..
sobs. but i do want my teeth straightened. :(
sigh, i want and need to be left alone.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009 @8:49 PM
too much
think perhaps i had a writer's block of some sort and haven't been updating... either that or at times when i do have something to blog about, i was prolly just too tired then to turn my com on and do so.
now suddenly its may! yiling, hester & my sis's birthday have passed and the next big occasion is mother's day. feel rather thankful that i've already given her something and all i have to concentrate on is surviving till my next pay comes in. and also figure out how to pass everyone else their presents. weird eh? 3 ppl's birthday have passed and i haven't given them their present tho i've bought them before the event. BUT i've already bought and given my mom her share of mother's day present BEFORE its event mothers day. i think i must be getting somewhat paranoid of sorts. but hey, she was nicer to me. i've been having propers dinners when i come back from home (NOTE! Not instant noodles!!) so yea... what a joke.
i think the next few weeks that follow will be very eventful. like, after i get my pay.. it'll be a few days grace before i go for my molar extraction on the 18th. then there might be a trip to malaysia for durian and shopping on 23rd... and then more extraction and pain on the 25th (oh! it'll also be our 5th month anni! haa..). i've got something in mind to buy but i think he already knows anyway lol..
feel really scared and nervous as days pass. actually i still haven't formed my list of things i wanna eat before i get braces on. like, i can't really even remember what nice, hard and chewy food are out there. *shrugs*
thanks to ash, i'm rather scared to bits by the pain i might have to endure. but jeremy encouraged that i'll definitely lose weight. i better! as skinny as possible.. haha..
ah, while having lunch with the girls from cfs, i seemed to be alittle reprimanded for spoiling the market of being a nice gf. apparently, their bf, fiance and husband are all guys who shower them with tlc and will do anything for em. of which includes doing housework, washing the dishes, ironing, buying jewellery...
it all started with me asking where to buy and how much starch cost. apparently i'm not suppose to iron his clothes (since it has only been 4mths) cos if i started, i'll be doomed with it forever (should we ever get married). then the next question that followed was the dishes, and more which i can't really remember... all i can say is... its pretty tough to be a guy eh? i mean, just listening to them, i could feel that its pretty hard work and if i can feel tired just listening to chores, imagine having to do them in real life...
somehow it didn't seem that difficult back when i was in ozzie. i wonder why? now that i'm back in sg, i relish laundry, cooking and doing the dishes. thinking of it kinda makes me miss ash cos we usually do it together. i really do miss the carefree life back in oz instead of the debt-filled life here in sg... and then sj's words flash by my head ''girls right now your age should be saving up for marriage". i can't help but make a bitter laugh at that.
and life just seem even more bleak at that.
ok i think i rambled quite alot now. may tomorrow be a better day..