Friday, April 29, 2011 @9:06 AM
Probable clinical depression
"I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any of me left" - unknown author
N I'm starting to feel all the symptoms..
Constant sadness
Irritability
Hopelessness
Trouble sleeping
Low energy or fatigue
Feeling worthless or guilty for no reason
Significant weight change
Difficulty concentrating
Loss of interest in favorite activities
Monday, April 25, 2011 @9:55 PM
if u were me
i'm so guilty to spill the beans about my sad life, which isn't so sad because jason is in it... which makes me more depressed because it will get worse.
i find it so tough convincing myself that things will get better, by trying to forget the problem and praying that god will make a way. but that's alittle one sided because jason believes theres a god, but he's not sure which god is real so he respects all.
yes i have a problem with security. any girl in a serious relationship contemplating marriage or have already agreed to it would too. otherwise, feel free to drop me a comment in my chatbox if you are fine with embarking on a lifelong commitment without any sense of financial security. seriously.
i guess i'm just a really bad person. i don't want to sign my life into more financial debt then i already am in. as if 1 blood-sucking parent ain't enough.. right?
well his family is worse. of course he is doing the right thing and i wouldn't expect otherwise. hence i'm just always stressed out. well not always, but everytime i get back to reality.. which is often enough.
am i too practical? too materialistic? i didn't think i was... but it's really bothering me. so perhaps i am. after living on the edge for over 20 years, thanks to my parents, i know how important it is to have money. i am not going to sign my life into living on edge for the remaining years of my life. getting married was initially thought as one my escape out of my family, besides finding and being truly loved. but without spiritual life, without financial stability, just words and some actions that you love me now... is just not enough.
ironically i still had hopes on balloting for a flat to call our own. its so clear that i'm not ready for all this... how can i still have such doubts? i feel like i need a good break to sort myself out, before this give me a mental meltdown. have already cried twice telling him my insecurities and there wasn't and can never be an answer. besides taking a loan or striking toto. i would love to know who might take comfort in hearing this.
someday these sites might come in handy, for now it's just for friends who really are getting married soon.
http://www.goldenhappiness.com.sg/http://photobooksingapore.com/
Monday, April 11, 2011 @11:59 PM
testing my patience
my resume update is.. almost completed. but frankly? i don't know if its really is time for me to go. i really need the $$, but it somehow seems unethical. i need some guidance and directions. must pray. must pray. must pray.
Thursday, April 07, 2011 @12:43 AM
Simple but not
Pms can be a really horrible thing. U'll feel emotional. Filled with doubts. Paranoia. Depressed. and so much more but they're just different words that means the same as what I just said above.
好讨厌这种感觉...
还是脑空空最好.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011 @9:47 PM
promotion
i got a promotion today. i also found out that the performance bonus is.. darn low. like, what was all that exercise of rating my performance for anyway? thank you for the recognition, thank you for the nice score... so where's my money???? sigh, time to look for a job with better prospects.