Wednesday, July 22, 2009 @9:47 PM
its all about the people
work somehow has been going on alil downhill lately. but then again that may be a wrong way to actually put it. sigh, its hard to explain. i can only hope i'll not make the same mistakes again.
strangely i'm also taken aback by the things that are going on around me. bursting out the way i did to jeremy and remi a week back was not intentional, but it felt really nice to have them understand and comfort me because they are aware of the things that are going on. so i don't know if there has been word going around about me that i'm unaware of. people seem to be treating me alil nicer.
and then the mail from cfs sparked another issue when i tried to explain to my boss and got alil carried away doing so. somehow i'm not sure but i have this small feeling that the people from facilities said 'ah cat, jia you, jia you' for a reason. why is there suddenly a strain between cfs and facilities? i'm fairly sure its not because of me, and i really hope not. its just puzzling because all of a sudden i'm not sure of whats going on around me anymore.
everything feels surreal. it seems like the only time things are alright are the times i spent with jason. even when i just got my upper braces yesterday i could still eat rather normally, but somehow today, one bite by accident brought such immense pain it sucks the rest of my appetite in an instant. i can explain the logic behind it but somehow everyone but jason believes it. he thinks i'm just going mental..
sigh, work just sucks. for me, for jason, and for everyone else that matters.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009 @9:35 PM
my patience wears so thin...
i haven't blogged in a month. which i suppose is really good because most of the time when i blog, its because i'm really upset or angry. either that, or perhaps i'm starting to pms.
seriously. there should be many things i should be happy about. my birthday just passed, nothing big or eventful that day but i was really contented. there was even a surprise how an intern of jason saw me and later commented that i was really pretty.
i have a wii in the house now. bought just 2 days ago counting the fact that today is almost over anyway. its expensive, but really fun. i'm still recovering from the heartache of the sheer cost of it. this month is really going to be lean for both myself and jason...
and today had been payday.
somehow it didn't change the fact that i'm tired. when i'm tired because of the lack of sleep, i either get depressed or grumpy. usually grumpy. but do i let that affect anyone? no. perhaps jason do get affected since we're close and he'll feel the direct effects... but i've never let anything, be it lack of sleep or whatsoever, affect my friends or colleagues.
i've been through alot in my life, even though it may not be comparable to some people, it has still been barely what i could bare to live through. i won't compare my experiences with others but somehow i expect at least to be spared from being caught in the melodrama life of others. i haven't subject any of my own drama on anyone other than jason, because he's different. you on the other hand give everyone an attitude and still have the time and sensible mind to post what you think on facebook.
most people have been rather kind thinking of your moods whilst working with you. still you show your attitude as if things going wrong in your life were their fault or you just couldn't give a damn about others other than yourself anyway. you're in customer service yet i don't see you have the initiative to be helpful UNLESS you're in a really good mood. how unprofessional. the fact that you're always posting on facebook also seems like you want/need all the attraction/sympathy from everyone. i know u met a rather bastardy guy but i had thought by your age you should be able to deal with it at your own stride without going at the expense of other's feelings. suddenly i'm seriously starting to wonder how some colleagues seem to treat u the way they do. how come suddenly so many people/dept seem to be 'bullying' the reception counter? perhaps it has something to do with your own personal character? it works just like the golden principle: do onto others as you would want others to do unto you.
treating you nicely doesn't give you the RIGHT to abuse my friendship.
i feel so much anger and grief working.
i know after sleeping tonight, i'll be fine the next morning. i'll be the same as i always am. i just to sleep over it.