Tuesday, July 31, 2007 @10:54 PM
proactive? not..
i'm feeling moody again.
sigh..
its august! wow how time flies.. i feel like i've been in aussie for ages already.. though in actual fact i'm still so new outside i can get lost turning a wrong corner.
what awaits is a pile of self reading, digging for academic journals and tones of essays.. most of em due early september, and there's the ongoing tutorials and weekly quiz for business law.
when u have a timetable like mine, where u're actually only required to go to school for 3 days, you'd think i have alot of time right? which is why it confuses me how come i don't feel that way...
i feel like i'm having some sort of depression now. and it might have very well gone full blown had i not stayed with ashley. its not anyone's fault? but a psychological thing i feel... just feel like resting and lazing and slacking all day... don't have to answer or please anyone.. mind what they think or mind what they say.. worry over papers and exams..
i feel horrid.
though we don't always meet.. still miss everyone back in sg...
Monday, July 16, 2007 @4:53 PM
confused mind
today i have experienced my very first taste of ultra loneliness.
the feelings of being the only one, standing alone, looking at all the other groups of people happily chatting and laughing..
then plus being in a foreign country, away from family, friends and alex...
suddenly i have no idea why i'm standing by myself and making myself so miserable. i wanted to atempt to make conversation with other lonely souls.. but the cold sore on my lip seriously demoralised me. actaully i was also really shocked at the number of asians there. like, hello?? where are the AUSSIES??
it must be pms.
lucky i daringly spoke to one of the staff and asked her if i really needed to stay till the end. answer was no and i quickly left. wasted 10mins but oh wells, could have been more.
so anyways, orientation so far? its just boring. and i'm just being really suaku but i really wanna go just in case. and maybe make a couple more friends... well, see how things go la. patrick called to ask how was my orientation, if i made any friends. i said no and he say i'm so shi bai -_-
haiz, how to attract people when i look so ugly now?? its a fact really, looks count.
other then that i recently (actually yesterday) came back from 'backpacking'. went to stradbroke island with my housemates to celebrate one of the housemate's 21st birthday. its kinda cool of an idea and i immediately wished "how i wish it was me" but i already turned 21... *sigh*
well the plan was to give her a surprise and the present was it being an all expense paid trip. really, the idea was cool.. but what was 'uncool', was the fact that the idea wasn't explained to neither me nor ashley. u want to plan, sure.. but after planning can tell us anot? both of us were so clueless as to what to expect. whats the programme.. we know nothing! plus zero explaination on the money we paid for. its sued for food, transport and lodging.. but normally a responsible person would at least ask all parties if they would like to show the breakdown of how they arrived with the figure right?
not that they aren't nice people.. i really don't know how to explain further.. but things could seriously be done better. it doesn't feel good to be uninformed. like how two would put it, "cat! you look lost" i was! and i'll never forget how we walked 6km that day. i would have willingly paid for a cab/bus ride if there was even an option to choose! *my poor aching legs*
oh and two is not a spelling error. its the name of one of my housemates. theres 8 people sharing the house. me, ashley, suba, two, anthony, alan, kasey and melissa. it makes the house sound big and crowded but its neither. except, maybe during meal hours.. since the kitchen is shared.
having so many people around is good cos it adds life to the house and some activities can be done together.. or even having extra food of a different ethnic.. but then again it sucks when the walls are pretty hollow, you've got to be really considerate when walking around.. when they actually wake up at 6plus in the morning to go to the marketplace its crazy.. thats why for living there, i feel really grateful there's ashley.
we go to the market alittle later to catch more sleep.. we shop together and share some cost for groceries.. she's pretty patient with me and shows me around. she's ok with sharing internet when the whole house doesn't. she's neat. and theres prolly a list but in summary, its god's blessing. though now i need more of god's blessing as to my future too.
am seriously lost and confused with where i'm gonna head to, what i'm suppose to do and what to do next. (ok, that one i know, i need to head home and shower....)
things to pray for:
cold sore to disappear soon
to be able to concentrate on my studies once sch term starts
for future direction.. single/double major? hons? or accountancy?
to commit to fellowship (have been so busy since i got here)
ok library closing... kimchi for dinner!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007 @8:53 AM
in Auzzie
its been a long while since i blogged!! haha.. kinda overwhelmed to do it now, but anyways...
yes!! i'm finally in australia, brisbane, st lucia, university of queensland, library! (to be really exact) heh, like so hard working? no.. actually its cos there's no internet back home. so i had to lug my lappy here to get my wireless set up and get the installation cd for dial-up should i need to use the internet at home.
eveyrthing's been good i guss.. just maybe a tad too cold.. really not used to it.. not to mention my lips are really dry and my skin....
anyways, i'll have to blog more again laters @.@ gtg now..