Wednesday, January 31, 2007 @4:22 PM
alamak
goodness.. i just realised its actually wednesday today.
which means i missed coordination meeting!! why in the world do i keep thinking its tuesday?
luckily i got no events this week. at most is probably just logistic rental from Luge. but danny is in thailand (scared me when i heard a thai operator when i called his mobile) so i gotta wait till tomorrow to confirm everything and send more emails out to people.
life has been.. words cannot put forth the meaning and emotion i have. so anyway it sucks. theres the many people i have grown to love leaving. and i can't do anything but wish them well in my heart. can't really express how much i'm in one way or another grateful at how much they have touched and changed my life. so they just go.. and i silently think, when's the next one coming. wait, its just tomorrow, or next week, or next month.. gahhh!!!!!
everyone is just moving on with life. living their own life. soon in no time, i'll be forgotten. everyone will be forgotten? i really hope not.. but there's nothing i can do when it comes to matters of such. work begets a love hate relationship with people. but nomatter what i will make a promise that i will not forget everyone. when i get married i'll invite everyone. just give me like ugh.. 3 or 4 years? haha.. or maybe layling's one will come first.. why she never post pictures..
kk, i so kaypo.. anyway.. shucks.. now need to rush off to go shopping with sarah.. i'm so sooo asking for it.. pocket already burnt hole big enough to put my butt in still continue go shopping.. hahahaa.. what's this bittersweet feeling? sigh, hate farewells...
Monday, January 22, 2007 @8:57 PM
blurry eyes
great, pms me has passed...
so i'm back to normal =p & here's to share an inspirational story from one of my church mates.
The story of TreesOnce there were three trees on a hill in the woods.
They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest.
I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."
Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest Tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the Hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me.
After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a Carpenter, "and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the second tree the woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree. I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come True. One of the Woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my Tree, I'll take this one," and he cut it down.
When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for.
The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.
The third tree was cut into large pieces, and left alone in the dark.
The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.
Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.
Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second Tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and Said "Peace" and the Storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible because Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, God will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His Ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.
Amen.
Thursday, January 11, 2007 @2:47 PM
sick
not feeling too good lately.. fever come, fever go.. now its back.. grr... plus yet another 'quarrel'. my one-sided dementor. fuck.
hate the feeling so much but there's nothing i can do about it. i just wanna knock off and head home to rest or get the bloody nokia 6288.
if i'm gonna pay extra, fine. if i'm gonna lose the fucking photo, whatever. i'm just worried about losing the contacts inside.
my pride and ego is too high to ask for help. funny how i only feel such towards alex. hate him. argh!!
and i'll get my pillow myself too. who needs him?
perhaps i'm just too self-centered, selfish, unthoughtful and rude. comeon, tell me something i don't already know. get lost and call someone else la! nbcb..
Friday, January 05, 2007 @4:08 PM
insignificance
its kinda really quite depressing, the way everyone seems to be leaving (or have already left) the company.. like jennifer, lay ling, hwee lin, kc, kt, kim hwee, linda, michelle, bryan, wan yi, bih ru, ngai, my interns and possibly samantha, azlin, siti and me..
i have this urging to leave as well. but i know i can't go. all hell will break loose as my mom unleash her anger on me. what can i say? i need the money too.
*sigh*
i wish i could just stay home watch anime or play flyff all day. or spend time with alex.
ah.. at least my relationship with alex is getting better. time seems to just slowly tick by at work.. while i count down to the time i'll meet him.
i have come to realise that i can never wish for an ideal partner. it just isn't fair to him. yeah.. life's struggles is meant to be like that right? or at least i guess i think it is. though there are quite a fair bit of quality i wish he had.. i will just have to learn to accept his flaws. again. there are some things i really like about him too. then all that's left to do, is pray that i don't have a breakout.
feeling very sleepy now. can't wait to knock off and catch charlotte's web at vivo laters. TGIF!!
look forward to playing more flyff at night or tmr too. =3
Wednesday, January 03, 2007 @12:53 PM
meaningful nothing
i am, yet again, losing my meaning for living in life. or is it reason?
stoning into space and just being ignorant to everything. even though i might hurt some people around me but even that i choose to ignore. i'm self centered and utterly selfish.
so? what can i do? what do you want me to do? it's also like a helpless feeling.
oh yeah, and happy new year to anyone and everyone out there.
the year really came and went in a blink of an eye. i've finally got my license though i can't drive my parent's car since they're so paranoid. need to wait for 2 years before insurance can be bought they say. whatever la, don't drive then don't drive lor.
celebrated new year with alex, christina & jian bin. half of me felt it was ok, another half of me wished it didn't happen. should haf juz crashed to yi ling's place. but anyway, its over. after that i just spent my remaining free time watching prince of tennis. i promise you i watched at least 14 hours worth of anime. don't know the exact number..
haiz.. funny me came up with a song during meeting.. the tune i guess came from somg chinese song but the lyrics i promise is thought up by myself.
title: xin qing
xi huan ni
ke shi pa shuo le
jiu hui shi qu ni
xi huan ni
ke shi yu pa hui bu xiao xin
jiu shang hai le ni
xi huan ni
ke bu ke yi
yong yuan zai yi qi
wo zhi shi xiang
yong yuan di ba ni
cang zai xin li yong bu wang ji na xin qing
*sigh*